The day after the CVS was spent in my bed. I did a lot of thinking and praying and grieving.  I was pretty sore from the procedure and just emotionally exhausted.  About 5 that night, I got a phone call from a genetic nurse.  The FISH results were in and the baby did have a chromosomal anonomly.  Except, it wasn't one that we were given the odds of having.  It was Turner Syndrome.  Or Monosomy X.  She explained that our baby had just 1 X chromosome.  I knew girls had 2 Xs.  I knew boys had 1 X and 1Y.  What does having one X mean?  Our baby was a girl, she said.  A girl!!  I had known it was a girl, but James was holding out hope for another boy.  The nurse was kind, but mentioned again that these babies miscarry very often.

TS affects 1 in every 2000 girls born.  It accounts for 10% of all miscarriages.  There are two kinds of TS.  Our baby has full Monosomy X.  That means she is missing her entire second X chromosome.  The other kind is mosaic TS.  That means those girls aren't missing their whole second X chromosome.  Those with mosaic TS are often not diagnosed until their growth is noticeably restricted, or they don't go through puberty or they aren't able to get to pregnant.  Our daughter will have to take growth hormones until puberty.  She will have to take estrogen from when puberty would normally start to when menopause would normally start.  She can't have children of her own, unless she uses a donated egg and IVF.  She may have cardiac problems.  A large percentage of TS girls have to have open heart surgery when they are born.  If she can make it to birth, she has a great chance of having a long, great life.  There are physical features of TS girls, but they can be cosmetically fixed.  TS girls are smart and stubborn.  You show them a wall and they want to break through it.

I am so proud to have this baby growing inside me.  I know that God has a plan and I can't even begin to describe how much my heart has changed since finding out that day that we had a baby who might not make it.  I have hope that Gracelynn will make it.  I have faith that no matter what happens, James and I will get through it.  I feel a sense of peace knowing that I am able to put all of this in God's hands.  I haven't felt peace for some time now.  Those that know me well, know that I have been holding a lot of hurt in my heart since my aunt Re passed away right before Addison was born.  I feel like I am finally moving through accepting that loss now.  I am still hurting terribly, but this peace gives me hope that I will be able to let the pain go.